#CREATE BOOKLET FOR DIVORCE OF ASSETS SKIN#
#CREATE BOOKLET FOR DIVORCE OF ASSETS PROFESSIONAL#

It doesn’t matter if they’re two or 22, they will struggle with the fallout from their parents separating. It’s your job to love, protect, support and connect with your kids. If you’re a parent, remember that your kids are not on your emotional support team! You’re on theirs. Relational tension, drawn-out court battles, trashing your spouse, using your kids as bargaining chips and hiding things from them all create lasting trauma. But we’ll do this together.” Kidsĭivorce hurts kids. Find compassionate people who will walk with you and say, “Man, this sucks. People will come out of the woodwork saying stupid, misguided things about you, God and your future.īut the truth is-no matter your faith-you are worth love and respect. If you’re a person of faith, you may question your place in your religious community, your relationship with God or even your salvation. You may question your worth or judgment: How could this person leave you? How could you pick someone who would hurt you so badly? What is wrong with you? What was wrong with them?

Spiritualĭivorce causes deep pain in your soul. For now, find a trustworthy local broker who can get you the best rates and the most coverage. You’ll also need to take a long, hard look at all your insurance policies (more on that later). They’ve walked other clients through divorce and can help you make good financial decisions. Financialįinancial changes will be some of your biggest stressors, so talk to a financial planner. You’ll save major time and money if you keep your emotions in check and make a list ahead of time of what you want to discuss with your lawyer. Besides, every exchange with a lawyer costs money. You win when you let your lawyer help you legally close the relationship, then move on. But you will lose your dignity and hurt your kids. You might get the house, the dresser or the dog. Hear me on this: You will not win if you use your attorney as a weapon to wage war against your ex. Just make sure your attorney has the heart of a teacher, not the heart of a nuclear demolition expert. A good lawyer will help you understand your rights, responsibilities and all the legal talk so you can make educated choices about your future. While you can complete an amicable divorce with a ton of mutual maturity, most people need a divorce lawyer.

Choose less caffeine, less alcohol, less Netflix and less loneliness. So take care of your body, and pay attention to your needs even when you don’t feel like it. Keeping those stress chemicals in your system for a long time is unhealthy. Physicalĭuring divorce, your body switches into fight-or-flight mode and makes tons of adrenaline and cortisol. Either way, let your friends be your friends and lean on professionals for the heavy lifting. You may just need one session, or you may need some deep healing. Especially if you’re coping with major trauma-like domestic or substance abuse, or childhood trauma kicked up by the divorce.

#CREATE BOOKLET FOR DIVORCE OF ASSETS PROFESSIONAL#

But I always recommend meeting with a professional counselor or minister. Sometimes, talking to a trusted family member or friend is fine in a moment of need. Instead of unfairly expecting people to do things they can’t, stick to the expertise they can give in their specific areas.īuild your team to fill these roles: Emotional Your friend is not your attorney (unless they really are an attorney). Second, let each person help in appropriate ways. First, choose people who can support you in different areas-because divorce affects every square inch of your life.

#CREATE BOOKLET FOR DIVORCE OF ASSETS SKIN#

These people should have good boundaries, thick skin and your best interests in mind.ĭo two things when choosing your support team. For now, here is the most important thing I’ll say: You cannot do this alone. You need to take care of yourself (more on that soon). But it cannot be your chief coping strategy. Sometimes it’s good to withdraw and feel the dark grief. Some days you want to crawl into bed and never come out. In almost every situation, I want people to save their marriage-to put in the hard work and rebuild a stronger, more beautiful, lasting union.ĭivorce feels lonely and cold. Let’s be clear: I hate that I had to write this article. I’ve put together this divorce checklist to help you care for yourself, your finances and your future. If you commit to small, daily changes-little wins-and connect with others in vulnerable relationships, you will come out stronger. If you’re there now, hear me when I say I’m so sorry. And to make matters worse, you’re left to clean up a legal, emotional, spiritual and financial mess. The picture you had of your life suddenly ends up in ashes. It is a kind of death-the death of a dream, a marriage, your plans. Make no mistake: Divorce is heartbreaking.

Create booklet for divorce of assets